the right time to dream?

it's funny and frightening how our dreams take form.  during a season of dark depression, one thing that exposed me to light and love was the dreams i had to volunteer and serve people.  i dreamed of being an AmeriCorp volunteer or working with the Jesuit Volunteer Corps at a L'Arche home.  (L'Arche provides housing, care, and spiritual nurturing and growth for exceptional individuals who have special needs.)  those dreams were what gave me hope and called me back to what had been lost in my season of depression.  i had let others (namely, my parents) tell me that those dreams were "irresponsible" and "immature" and gave up.  when i began re-discovering them, i was ultimately led to something else: grad school and a career that would combine many of those dreams of helping others.

and now, here i am, full circle, caring for an individual who has special needs.  my husband and i gave up a lot financially and stepped forward with a lot of faith that this was the right thing to do when we learned about this individual's need to have a live-in caregiver.  it's "inconvenient", yes, in that we have to find creative solutions for transportation; we have to be home every evening and weekend; our personal space is no more.  i fear that i won't be able to pursue music therapy jobs this spring after my internship because we've committed to this "job" for the next year, committing us to the fort collins area as well.

but who said that i get to choose the grand scheme, the Divine Plan of how it all works out?  if i had tried to plan my way out of my past struggles or organize my life with a bullet point list, i would be nowhere.

so still, i suppose, it is the right time to dream...