dreaming, again...

well, six months have come and gone since i last wrote.  it's remarkable that life happens so quickly, all the while we spend our time fretting about the day-to-day things that seem so pressing, life-changing, crucial.  and they are, yes, but they are also just part of the story.

since may 2013....

• i completed my Master's Degree in Music Therapy
• my husband and i spent several months caring for a young man with disabilities and learned it wasn't the right time for us to be in that setting....and we learned a TREMENDOUS amount about ourselves and grace and patience and loving others
• i started a new (temporary) job as a church pianist...which will end in a month
• i have provided music therapy to nearly 50 some patients receiving hospice care
• i've learned to be more comfortable and uncomfortable with death, grief, and loss
• i facilitated a grief support group at my church
• i've spent endless nights job searching when i could be enjoying the simple moments...

that last one is the hardest.  and it's the same old story that i seem to write in my life.  i worry about the future.  A LOT.  i am my mother's daughter and my grandmother's granddaughter in that sense.  the partons are worriers beyond imagination.  but they plan well, a skill for which i am grateful to possess in certain situations.

i am learning to trust that the Divine has something remarkable in store for me.  it might be a temporary job in the mountains for the summer.  it might be a full-time job out of state.  it may be a patchwork of several jobs.  whatever it is, my prayer is to continue to remember to see the greater picture, the colors, lines, and strokes that come together as i make music to better peoples lives...in my own "little flower" way. 

oh, Master grant that i may not so much seek....to be understood as to understand....