well, here i am, watching the snow fall in colorado on april 23. yes, folks, april 23. last week, april 16, we got a whopping 22 inches of snow. it's hard not to complain. the lack of sunshine is playing with my mood, my motivation, our upcoming move... (that's a lot of m's...)
yes, our upcoming move...
tomorrow, we move into our new home. this move is a lot of things wrapped into one. we are moving to become caregivers for a man who has special needs. really, he just needs our help with a few things. we are the ones who will be learning the most; i really believe he will become one of our most important teachers. (for more thoughts on this, the idea of those with "dis"abilities being teachers, read "Adam: God's Beloved" by Henri Nouwen.)
we are moving into a new house. we are moving away from, leaving behind, our cheap/newly-wed apartment of 2 years. the white walls have become a bit of a trap, the small space luring us in to be comfortable rather than try new things. but those white walls and that small space have held many memories. one of our best friends lived within those walls for a few months with us. we brought home our first dog to that small space. we had our first arguments and subsequent reconciliations. we made our first snowman in front of our apartment. we bought our first "nice" bed. we had many late-night talks, deliberating future school and career plans.
and the one night, over dinner, we laughed and cried over the idea of becoming caregivers for a man with special needs. we laughed because we had said "we'll do that in 10 years, mayyyybe 5 years". we cried because we weren't sure if this was God's timing, God's way of presenting a dream to us, much sooner than we anticipated.
i am stressed and excited all the same. we are moving in the middle of the week and sleeping on sleeping bags for the first 3 nights in our new home. i'm choosing to look at it as an extended camping sleepover those first 3 nights, without some of our comforts right at hand. i have 4 research paper summaries to write, 1 presentation to create and give, 100 some music appreciation papers to grade, and 2 final exams to take--all once we move into this new house with new responsibilities.
a test of faith it is. inconvenient at times, maybe. i don't like that word though. and it's kind of like the snow that's been falling in late April.
inconvenient in each morning that i have to get up and scrape my windows. frustrating in the lack of sunshine. but i bet all of my fort collins neighbors who lost homes last year in the High Park Fire and my colorado springs neighbors who lost their homes because of the devastating effects of the Waldo Canyon Fire are not inconvenienced at all. they're hopeful for the moisture we're receiving and the snow pack we so desperately need.
we don't know what we need often. we think we know, but we don't.
this new experience, this new challenge, i have an inkling that God knows it's what we need. both Evan and my experiences working with exceptional individuals, our own personal history having siblings and close friends battle chronic illnesses, our far-off dreams, those are what we need. those are what move us.
so, let it snow, may the sun come soon, and here goes life...
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