growing up

life in Rapid City...

not what i planned it to be, for sure.

what in life ever ends up being what we planned it would?

i'm sitting in a lonely, quiet house

my biggest decision is whether to make mac 'n' cheese or ramen noodles for dinner


i am struggling to find
peace
love
joy

in my own spirit

i know it's all around me

but my eyes are blinded

by the sadness i'm holding onto.

sadness of leaving college, a place that changed my views, my passions, my dreams
leaving the familiar Steinway piano in the chapel
and the friends i made music with

but with each new experience,
something good can come,
my new friend from church, Bill, a wounded Army veteran, told me

even getting sick and stranded out of state,
he was able to ride in an ambulance plane. he thought that was quite amazing.

so while i hate my job and i'm about to quit it, with no job offers yet,

i will try my best to take in this new experience, good and bad.

i think i just might bake chocolate chip oatmeal cookies tonight to celebrate never having to waitress tables at Applebee's again. huzzah.

if you could pray for me, i have applied at a daycare and the local YMCA. i really miss working with kids and need to be in a more positive environment.

being a grown-up is hard work some days.